BAR OF SOAP

Here's the story: I was about 10 and I was starting to come into my own, my words were an untapped gold mine, a plethora of emotion was at my disposal, so what did I start doing, I started swearing, it seemed like such a great way to express my true emotions, me real excitement or dislike for something. One day my best friend told my sister that I swore and my sister told my mom and my mom played a game. " JORDAN ARE YOU SWEARING?"
"UM..."
"SPEAK UP!" she yelled.
"Yes."
"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?!" I looked over at her and smoke stacks were billowing from her ears. What are you supposed to do in that situation, swear in front of your mom, it's a trap (women are good at them -- that was a joke, but I'm not kidding.) So I said:
"Hell."
"THAT'S ALL?!" she was getting angrier, like she needed me to swear at her so I could fuel her fire.
"Ass..." The car jerked off the road and into the parking lot of the Jewish Synagogue, thinking back on it, she planned that. I am terrified at this point, my mom gets out of the car and I look back at my sister in hopes that she's laughing and I can give her a look that will bring her tattling tail down a couple notches BUT SHE WAS ALREADY CRYING -- TERRIFIED -- we were both in the same boat.
The door flew open and my mom grabbed me by the arm, yanked me out of the car (I still have bruises--KIDDING), and knelt down in front of me.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" she said quietly but sternly, that's the worst kind of reprimand.
"Hell" WHAP, she slapped me in the face.
"WHAT ELSE?" She must be joking!
"Ass." WHAP! another one, same cheek, ruthless. I started crying and my sister started banging on the window.
"NO MOMMY STOP IT!" Alex's muffled screams leaked through the car window.
"If Jesus lives in your heart there should be no room for words like that -- okay?" I nodded my head, my mom gave me a hug, "get in the car." That's all I remember.
I've never been a bad kid, like even today I am afraid to make mistakes because of situations like that, and it kind of sucks. I have been spending my life afraid of what other people thought about me and how that was going to effect my family, like every time I went out my parents said "Remember you're representing the Riggs family, there are always people watching you"
I would say, "like who?"
"We have eye's everywhere" they would respond. DO YOU KNOW HOW TERRIBLE THAT IS HAHA! Well it's funny now but then, not fun at ALL I would be petrified. So I say this because I do swear and it is a way for me to express my true emotions, how I really feel, and it's kind of like my first rebellion (PITIFUL RIGHT?!) because it's not a sin, I'm not cursing anyone, I don't use God's name in vein, I express my emotions, and SO WHAT IF I DID, you know people use Jesus to show you how bad of a person you are and I try my best to live like Christ but everyone makes mistakes, and that's why we're human, because we make mistakes, and guess who will LOVE you no matter what, Jesus. I'm not saying go out and get wasted, screw a bunch of random people, get all coked out, and die, I'm saying don't live in fear, because that is not the spirit God gave us, he gave us a spirit of power, a spirit of love, and a sound mind, so use those!

2 Chronicles 32:7 - Be strong and courageous, be not afraid nor dismayed...